I cheated for a slice of pizza.
Our friends are up to more mischief. This time, Cake suggests a fair way to decide who gets the last slice of pizza. But she has underestimated her competition.
Original Script
Q: Uh oh.
W: what?
Q: Last slice of pizza. (pizza broll)
J: dibsss
W/K: noooo (typed out)
Q: That’s not how we settle things.
J: but I called d-- (typed out)
Q: Let’s roll dice
Q: Whoever is the highest wins.
Q: Deal?
J: fine, W: gg ez, K: perfect
*dice roll sound* Q: Six.
J/W/K: WTF (shared screens)
Q: *smirk emoji*
Q: Well, good luck fellas.
W: that’s not fair
J: yeah! (from behind)
Q: What, how?
W: you cancelled Jacko’s dibs and then rolled a 6
J: yeah! (from behind)
W: we riot (lawn chair flipped) (angry music)
J: yeah! (from behind)
K: guys, guys, chill out
K: anyone want a hit of this? (lighter deep inhale)
Q: Anyway.
Q: So the pizza is mine then?
J: Hold up.
*dice roll sound* J: Seven.
Q: Seven??
J: Seven.
Q: How did..
W: lol he drew dots on the dice
K: lmao niceee
Q: Okay that’s clearly against the rules.
J: no it’s not.
Q: Wipe it off and roll again.
J: I can’t
Q: Why not?
J: permanent marker
Q: Omg.
W: it’s okay Cake
W: I got this.
*dice roll sound* Twenty.
Q: Twenty????
J: oh shiii---
J: Natural 20 baby (d20)
W/J: wooooo
J: How do you want to do this? (matt mercer)
W: The great pizza war is over but the battlefield still smells of fire, bloodshed and cheese. In the dust and smoke, a faint outline of a figure is visible.
K: *blows smoke*
J: ooo special effects
W: As the smoke settles, the champion appears, standing tall and proud of her victory in this battle.
K: his victory
W: huh
K: You see in his hand his weapon of choice.
Q: This is getting out of hand.
K: The fattest blunt you’ve ever seen.
J: epic
K: And as he raises his weapon into the air, he roars. “I am the highesttttttt.” (he-man with a blunt)
J: preach it
W: umm excuse me.
K: i’ll be taking my pizza now.
Q: Pardon me?
K: I’m the highest. I won.
W/Q/J: ???????
K: You said,
K: and I quote,
K: “Whoever is the highest wins.”
Q: What.
*mini-flashback* *with rewind feature*
Q: But..
J: i mean
J: he’s not wrong
W: okayyyy soooo, who won?
Q: No one, this whole thing is a sham
K: the pizza wins
C: What does that even mean?
W: umm
W: what are you doing HighCard
K: as a reward for your victory
J: oh no
K: I present you with
C: Oh dear.
K: my digestive tract
C: Did you just..
C: Kiss the pizza?
J: why is his tongue out
W: french kiss
C: I hate you all.
K: Congratulations Pizza
K: you earned it.
W: at least it’s not scissors
W: right Jacko?
J: you said you wouldn’t bring that up
W: even better
W: here’s the video